So I arrived in Brisbane with my father safely on the 10th of October (yesterday) and basically this is going to be Christianna Honest Hour, it was the worst traveling experience of my life. My father wound up with a throbbing, horrible earache (which he still gets every now and then) and then, every stop I was slowly being cut off from the ones I love because I no longer have cell phone service AND the wifi keeps getting less and less. So, I have no way to talk to anyone. Once we finally got the Brisbane airport, we then spent about 2 hours trying to figure out how to get to our hotel. Eventually we figured it out! I was excited to get to the hotel because when we booked the room, they advertised for their free wifi....their free wifi that they get from the park across the street. The wifi that doesn't even work when you're directly IN the park. SO! Unless I am directly hooked up to the wifi cord in the hotel's computer section, I can't talk to anyone. And that has been the most lonely experience.
I am beyond grateful to have my father here but lets be honest, the two of us together and alone has always been somewhat of a lost puppy situation. Anyway, once I was finally able to get in contact with my mom, she was able to ease up my horrible feelings a bit. After seeing that I had clearly been sobbing the entire trip, she told me not to feel stuck. If I absolutely need to come home, I can.
I am in a hard place right now because while I feel a LOT better after getting good rest and experiencing a little more of Australia, I am still sickeningly homesick and so far, i can't shake it.
Today I am going to go to the YWAM base and check it out which I have a feeling is going to help me out bunches! But for now, I really just ask for your prayers, your encouragement and for clarity for me. I want to stay and go through this once in a lifetime experience, but I also don't want to come home to the people I love more than anything. I need clarity. I need prayers.
We always knew I was dramatic person... but the last 3 days, you should feel lucky you haven't had to deal with me ;D
I love you all and I hope my next blog can be more chipper! Thank you for your support and prayers! I look forward to seeing the reason for why God put me through such heartache right now.
THANK YOU!
with love,
Christianna <3
God loves you even more than I do! Rest in Him!
ReplyDeleteChrissy, glad to hear you and your dad made it safely. Sorry to hear about the challenges and frustrations you've had so far. I know after an incredibly long flight you're feeling exhausted, disoriented, and just want to sleep in a comfortable place. In spite of all the difficulty, I just want encourage you right now to stick with it. Trust that God has led you to where you are for a reason (many good reasons that we may not always immediately see), and ultimately what you go through is for His glory. Esther and I know what it's like to be in a far away place not being able to communicate with your loved ones, and feeling homesick and lonely. But don't give up! :) Fight through it, it will be the most rewarding and maturing experiences you'll have (and will put you ahead of so many of your peers), and you'll be so grateful you did.
ReplyDeleteChrissy! It's really hard when everything is unfamiliar, but that will soon become familiar! It just takes a little time! Don't give up you will regret it for the rest of your life. It is good for you to get some space from home but at the same time it is very hard. We are here and we always will be. So spend some time away and come back. I did it! And i got to see and experience amazing things. Haha on my way to VA we flew all night to NJ and then missed our plan and laid on the dirty floor of the air port because we were so tired. Let me just tell you that was not the highlight... Good things will come. Moving sucks. But truly living and experiencing a new place is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI am going to echo what everyone has already said, the long flights are hard and disorienting on top of already feeling lonely. Know that you are there for a purpose. These months will fly by whether you are there or not, and when they are gone, you will either be able to see the work that has been done through you and to you...or you will regret not staying. I say this, having backed out of a couple of great opportunities as well as sticking it through many others. The ones I didn't complete will always be regrets for me. You are so loved. You are so prayed for. Embrace the solitude and newness as you have to fully rely on God for your strength and nourishment. This will strengthen all of your earthly relationships. I love you, Christianna. I am so proud of you. Please give dad a big hug. We are praying for his ear ache and overall health. And most especially for that 'peace that passes all understanding' for the both of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for all your words of encouragement. You don't realize how much i needed them and how helpful they have been in the last couple of days. I am so grateful for all the support you guys give me! I love you Sarah and I love you Sissy! <3
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